Why You Feel Stuck (And What You Can Do About It
Feeling stuck in your 30s - 50s isn’t a life sentence. It’s a wake-up call. if you are struggling on knowing how to answer that call, we are here to help you!
Let’s be real for a second…
There’s a particular flavour of existential flatness that tends to sneak up on you somewhere between your 30s and 50s. One minute you’re sipping a flat white and minding your business, the next you’re staring blankly out the window thinking, “Is this it? Is this what I signed up for?”
You’re not alone. That stuck feeling is epidemic-level common. Like oat milk in a coffee shop. Everyone’s ordering it. But nobody really talks about what’s behind it or how to get unstuck - they just secretly Google things like “should I move to Bali?” or “how to become a dolphin trainer at 42.”
So if you’re feeling like your life’s on autopilot and being run for you, if you’re craving more but can’t quite define it, if you’re lowkey fantasising about faking your own disappearance and starting over under a new name - this post is for you!
Let’s unpack why you feel stuck – and what you can do to finally shift.
Firstly, What Does “Stuck” Even Mean?
"Stuck” doesn’t always mean dramatic failure. Sometimes it’s more like a low hum of dissatisfaction:
You’ve ticked the boxes (job, home, maybe family) but it all feels meh
You’re constantly busy but nothing feels meaningful
You have ideas or dreams, but no time, energy, or courage to pursue them
You know you’re capable of more, but don’t know where to begin
You’re starting to sound like your own boring boss, and that’s alarming
Feeling stuck is your inner GPS softly (or loudly) whispering, “Recalculating route…”
Why Do We Feel Stuck in Our 30s to 50s?
1. You’ve Been on the Conveyor Belt of Life
School. Uni (maybe). Job. Mortgage. Kids. Promotions. PTA meetings. You’ve been doing so much, but when’s the last time you checked if it was all still aligned with you? When was the last time you thought to you yourself "this is it - this is what I live for!"
Society hands us a template for success and what it should look like - and we follow it like the responsible adults we want to be.
But here is the thing - at some point, you look up and realise you’ve been chasing a version of life that doesn’t actually fit anymore, and maybe never did in the first place.
Cue: identity crisis, starring you and your increasingly sarcastic inner voice.
2. You’ve Outgrown Old Versions of Yourself
You’re not the same person you were at 25. But you might still be living like it. Or worse, living based on what 25-year-old you thought success would look like. If you haven’t updated your goals, habits, or beliefs in a while, there’s a good chance they’re outdated and even worse - they are holding you back.
It’s like wearing your old skinny jeans from 2004 and wondering why you can’t breathe. You’ve grown. (In all the best ways.)
3. You’re Too Good at Coping
You’ve learned how to manage stress, juggle responsibilities, and put everyone else first. You’re probably the go-to person for advice and snacks. But coping isn’t the same as thriving. You’ve normalised “just getting through” – and now it feels weird to want more. Now, some people may think that being good at coping is a good thing. in some situations it can be. But it isn't always. When your life is stagnant, being 'too good at coping' is keeping you where you are, because you are coping at plodding along, usually to someone else's tune.
Truth bomb: You don’t need a bigger to-do list. You need a bolder vision.
4. You’re Craving Meaning, Not Just Milestones
In your 20s, the goal was to build something. By your 30s and 40s, you want it to matter. We want depth. We want to feel like our lives are about more than inbox zero and Netflix marathons.
But no one teaches you how to pivot from external achievement to internal fulfilment. (That’s where transformational coaching - and this blog - comes in.)
What Can You Do to Get Unstuck?
1. Name the Stuck-ness
Get specific. “I feel stuck” is vague and overwhelming. What exactly feels stuck?
Is it your career? Creativity? Identity? Confidence? Routine? All of the above?
Naming it gives you power. It’s the difference between “something’s wrong” and “I’m unfulfilled in my job and craving more purpose.”
Awareness is the first step. Know what it is that you are unhappy with. Clarity is the second step, and action is the third. (Coffee is optional, but highly recommended.)
2. Ditch the Myth of the “Big Leap”
Most people stay stuck because they think change has to be dramatic: quit the job, leave the relationship, move to Costa Rica and open a juice bar.
But the truth is: small brave steps create massive momentum. When you accomplish a small step, you will accomplish another. Small steps add up and your confidence builds. Be a devil today - send the email. Take the class. Try the hobby. Set the boundary. Say the thing. You don’t need to change your entire life in one day - you just need to disrupt the autopilot.
3. Reconnect With Future You
One powerful way to get unstuck is to start imagining: Who is the version of me that isn’t stuck? Imagine you are 10 years from now. Where are you? What are you doing? What do you believe? What do you do differently than the you of today? What boundaries have you set in place? How much energy do you have? What type of clothes do you wear? What car do you drive? What is your house like? Who is in your house with you? HOW DID YOU ACHIEVE THIS?
You are imagining your future self - and they already exist in potential. You just need to start making decisions from their mindset, not your stuck one.
What would your future self say to your present self? What would they tell you to do to get going? What would they tell you not to continue with?
(Hint: Future You is way more confident and chill than you give them credit for.)
4. Rewrite the Rules
You’ve likely been living by a bunch of inherited rules:
“You can’t switch careers at 45.”
“It’s selfish to want more.”
“I should be grateful and not complain, people are worse off than me.”
"Wealthy people are horrible, self-centred tax dodgers."
“It’s too late for me.”
These beliefs? Outdated. Who wrote those rules, anyway? Probably somebody who had very little because they strived for very little. Somebody jealous of those who set out to achieve something. Delete these rules. Replace them with your own. Upgrade your beliefs!
New rules sound like:
“I get to grow at any age.”
“Desire isn’t selfish – it’s guidance.”
“It’s not too late; it’s right on time.”
"I absolutely deserve this and deserve to be happy."
5. Stop Waiting for Permission
Nobody’s going to pop up with a glittery sign saying “You may now pursue your dreams.”
You’ve got to decide to begin. Make the first move. Say yes before you feel ready. Take imperfect action. You’re not stuck because you’re broken. You’re stuck because you’ve been waiting. And waiting is just a fancy way of self-abandoning. Imperfect action is better than no action at all. Confidence to move forwards isn't 'just there', you build your confidence like you build muscles at the gym - the more you use it the easier it gets!
You are the permission slip. Don't wait for approval from someone else, and do not put off making changes and taking steps because you worry about what someone on your social media (who you probably haven't seen since school 25 years ago) might think and judge you on!
This is your life and you live it on your terms. You must find out what is keeping you stuck, and unstuck yourself!
Are you feeling a little stuck and wondering if you have it in you to get going? The read our blog post on how to change your mindset to accommodate your goals!
Final Pep Talk: Stuck Isn’t Permanent – It’s a Signal
Feeling stuck doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means something within you is waking up and wants more for you.
It’s not a dead end. It’s a crossroads. A little identity turbulence before take-off.
And yes - it can feel confusing, emotional, even a little absurd. But it’s also sacred. This is your invitation to transform. To come home to yourself. To stop surviving and start designing a life that fits.
So don’t settle. Don’t snooze your soul’s alarm clock.
You’re not stuck. You’re becoming.
✨ Want Help Getting Unstuck?
If you’re nodding along, wildly screenshotting this post, or silently sobbing into your lunch break salad - you don’t have to do this alone.
Join me inside my transformational coaching membership, where we take you from “meh” to magnetic, from “just coping” to confidently creating, from stuck to completely unstoppable.
You’ll get access to workbooks, workshops, coaching calls, and an entire squad of fellow dreamers doing the work.
Because you were never meant to stay stuck. You were meant to soar.
Let’s go get you unstuck.
Your Future Self is waiting.
