How to Bounce Back Like a Superball: The Art of Resilience
How to Bounce Back Like a Superball: The Art of Resilience (Without Pretending Everything’s Fine)
We’ve all had those moments - the big flop, the major faceplant, the kind of setback that makes you want to crawl under a weighted blanket and stay there until Netflix asks, “Are you still watching?”
But here’s the thing you need to know: Resilience isn’t about slapping on a fake smile and forcing yourself to “just stay positive.” We call that the wonderful art of denial, and just so you know - it’s about as effective as trying to fix a leaky boat with some scrunched up tissue paper.
So, what is resilience, really? It’s the ability to bounce back, yes—but not like a tired old tennis ball that’s lost its bounce. Nope. No, no. You want to be a superball. The kind that hits the floor and rockets back up at twice the speed, making small children and physics professors alike gasp in amazement.
Let’s break it down.
Why “Just Stay Positive” Is the Worst Advice Ever
If someone’s ever told you to “just stay positive” when your life felt like a bin fire, you probably resisted the urge to throw a shoe at them. And rightly so.
Toxic positivity - the idea that you should always be upbeat, no matter what. This is not resilience. In fact, pretending everything is fine when it clearly isn’t can make things worse. When you deny your struggles and emotions, you don’t process them. And what happens when you push your emotions to the back of your mind? Eventually, they come bursting out at some inopportune moment and send you flying flat on your gorgeous little face.
Real resilience starts with you acknowledging reality. Not dwelling in doom and gloom, but also not gaslighting yourself into believing everything is amazing when it’s not. Life isn't always amazing and fair to us. Sometimes it is - and that is great. But we need to remember that sometimes it isn't. The magic of resilience is in learning how to accept the hard stuff and move forward regardless. Acknowledge the knock - swear if you want - and then dust yourself down and crack on.
There is a question we hear a lot, and that is ''I practice gratitude. If I get annoyed or upset over something then I am not grateful for my life?''. Nope. No, no. If you are walking down the street on a lovely summers day and get walloped over the head with a falling piano, and then you get up smiling, telling yourself that you should be grateful for having been out on that walk, you will be suppressing your anger. You need to acknowledge said piano, swear, cry, get angry, and then carry on with your gratitude. You must acknowledge the anger and upset or shock. As we said, suppressing these emotions and not doing do leads to toxic positivity, which builds up and causes problems within us.
How to Recover from Setbacks Faster (Without Spiralling into Self-Doubt)
1. Feel Your Feelings (But Don’t Unpack and Live There)
Your feelings are valid. If you’re upset, frustrated, or full of existential rage because life just did you dirty, that’s FINE. Acknowledge it. Write it down. Scream into a pillow if needed.
But - here’s the key - don’t stay stuck there. Resilient people process their emotions instead of suppressing them, but they also don’t let them take the driver’s seat forever. Set a time limit: “I’m giving myself 24 hours to be in a mood about this.” Then, shift gears.
2. Reframe, Don’t Rewrite
Resilience isn’t about pretending things aren’t hard. It’s about changing how you interpret them. Instead of “I failed,” try “I learned what doesn’t work.” Instead of “I’m terrible at this,” try “I’m in the middle of getting better at this.”
One of the best ways to reframe a setback is to ask yourself: What would Future Me say about this? The version of you five years from now, who’s wiser, cooler, and probably has better taste in shoes -how would they look back on this moment? What advice would they give you?
The Weird but Effective Trick Olympians and CEOs Use to Keep Going
Here’s a little secret from the world of elite performers: When things get tough, they don’t rely on motivation. Motivation is fickle - it vanishes the moment things get inconvenient. Instead, they rely on rituals and micro-goals.
1. Have a Reset Ritual
After a setback, don’t just “wait until you feel better.” Actively reset yourself. It could be a specific song you play, a walk you take, or even a ridiculous power pose in front of the mirror (scientifically proven to boost confidence, by the way).
Athletes do this instinctively. They miss a shot, shake it off - literally - and move on. They don’t sit on the track questioning their life choices.
2. Set a Stupidly Small Next Step
Instead of trying to leap from “I’m struggling” to “I’m thriving,” make the gap smaller. Your next step should be so tiny it’s impossible to fail. Instead of “I need to get my whole life together,” start with “I will send one email” or “I will do five minutes of this project.” Momentum loves small beginnings.
Final Thoughts: Becoming a Superball in a World Full of Flat Footballs
Life is unpredictable. You will face setbacks. But resilience isn’t about never falling - it’s about how fast you get back up. It’s about acknowledging the mess, but refusing to live in it. When a toddler is learning to walk and keeps on falling down, they don't quit. They keep on trying until they manage it.
So, be a superball. Hit the ground hard, but then bounce straight back up and fly! And next time someone tells you to “just stay positive,” smile, nod, and bounce straight on past them - because you’ve got better strategies up your sleeve.
Now go forth and bounce.
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