It’s not a midlife crisis - it’s your confidence era!

Let’s have a little heart-to-heart, shall we?

Because here’s something that no one told us growing up:
Confidence doesn’t just magically arrive with your Amazon Prime packages in your 30s.
Nope. It’s not tucked into your anti-aging cream. It doesn’t get easier with a pay rise, a mortgage, or even matching Tupperware. (Although matching lids and tubs can feel like a win.)

So, what finally gives?

Why, when we were told we’d “grow into ourselves,” does it still sometimes feel like we’re just winging it in smarter shoes?

Welcome to the real, unfiltered, and slightly sweary truth:
Confidence after 30 hits differently.
And if no one’s told you yet - that version of you with confidence? She exists. You just haven’t fully met her yet.

✨ Myth #1: Confidence is a personality trait.

Reality? It’s a damn skill.

You are not doomed to live your life as the “shy one” or the “quiet one” or the “I-just-let-others-talk-in-meetings” one. That’s a label someone else probably gave you when you were 8 and afraid of overhead projectors.

Here’s the deal:
Confidence isn’t some elite DNA sequence passed down like cheekbones. It’s built. Like IKEA furniture. (But with fewer leftover screws and more emotional stability.)

Every confident person you know - whether they’re giving a TED Talk or boldly asking for extra guac without fear - learned how to do that. Through action. Through failure. Through pretending to be confident until their brain caught up.

If you’ve ever said:

“I wish I had her confidence.”
Try this instead:
“I’m learning how to be that version of me.”

🔮 Future You Already Knows the Drill

Let’s meet her for a second.
You know who I’m talking about.
That version of you who walks into a room like she belongs there. Who doesn’t shrink, edit herself, or reread her email 47 times before pressing send.

Future You says what she thinks. Wears what she likes. Orders the wine without apologising.

She doesn’t wait to feel “ready” – she just starts.
And shocker: the only difference between her and you is… reps.

She’s had more practice failing, recovering, setting boundaries, and realising that nobody else knows what they’re doing either.

Want to meet her sooner?
Start acting like her. Ask:

“What would Future Me do today?”
Then do that. Even if your voice shakes or your armpits sweat like they’re on a mission from God.

🛠️ The One Tool That Rebuilt My Client’s Confidence from Scratch

Let me tell you about my client - we’ll call her Rachel (because that’s her name).

Rachel was 37, brilliant, funny, and absolutely convinced she had nothing valuable to say.

When she started coaching, she used phrases like:

“I just don’t have confidence.”
“I’m not good at putting myself out there.”
“I’ve always been the behind-the-scenes type.”

So we gave her one tiny tool:
A “Confidence Evidence” Journal.
Every day for a month, she had to write down one thing she did that was brave, assertive, or just a little bit uncomfortable.

We’re talking low-stakes stuff here:

• Said no without a long excuse

• Posted something without over-editing

• Spoke up in a Zoom meeting

• Asked for help (yes, that counts)

After 30 days, something wild happened.
Rachel didn’t feel different. She acted different.
Her brain had a backlog of proof that she could handle things. Confidence didn’t come from one giant moment. It came from 30 tiny ones.

🎭 What Confidence Actually Looks Like IRL

Spoiler alert: it’s not the loudest person in the room.

Confidence often looks like:

• Taking your own advice

• Trying something new without waiting for permission

• Leaving a job, a relationship, or a WhatsApp group that drains you

• Setting boundaries (even if your stomach flips while doing it)

• Wearing the dress, even if your thighs touch (as they were always meant to)

And here’s the kicker:
It doesn’t always feel good in the moment.
Confidence isn’t comfort—it’s courage in motion.

⏳ Are You Waiting to Feel Ready?

Let’s get painfully real for a second.
You’re probably waiting.
Waiting to feel more experienced, more qualified, more together.

But confidence doesn’t precede action.
It FOLLOWS it.

You don’t become confident before you do the thing - you become confident because you did it, lived to tell the tale, and learned something new.

So if you’re waiting to “feel ready” to:

• Start the thing

• Say the thing

• Be the thing

This is your sign.
You’re already as ready as you need to be.

Do you wonder how to step into your future self? Then read our post here!

💁🏻‍♀️ Confidence After 30: Why It’s Better, Actually

Okay yes, you might now make weird noises when you bend over and forget people’s names mid-sentence.
But confidence in your 30s (and beyond) comes with some serious perks.

You’re tired of people-pleasing. You’ve had enough evidence that faking it doesn’t feel good. You’ve survived enough awkward moments to know that they don’t kill you.

And here’s the best bit:
Confidence after 30 isn’t about being loud or flawless or universally liked.
It’s about knowing your worth without needing everyone else to validate it.

You stop performing.
You stop apologising.
You start choosing you - with or without the external gold stars.

🔥 How to Build Yours—One Brick at a Time

Here’s your cheat sheet to start:

1. Catch the self-doubt soundtrack.
   When your brain says “Who do you think you are?” - answer it. Kindly. But firmly.

2. Collect evidence.
   Start a Confidence Journal. One brave thing a day. No matter how small.

3. Visualise Future You.
   Write a “day in the life” of her. Then borrow her moves today.

4. Reframe fear as fuel.
   Nervous? GOOD. That means you’re stretching. Stay with it.

5. Celebrate tiny wins like a maniac.
   Confidence multiplies when you notice what you’re already doing well.

6. Don’t go it alone.
   Confidence loves company. Whether it’s coaching, friendship, or just people who cheer louder than your inner critic - get support.

Final Truth Bomb 💣

If you’ve been thinking you’re not “naturally confident,” let this blog be your friendly nudge and gentle kick in the pants:

Confidence isn’t natural. It’s intentional. It’s built. It’s learned. And it’s YOURS to claim.

You don’t have to feel ready.
You just have to be willing.

So go on, be confident-ish today.
Messy, imperfect, glorious confidence.
Because honestly? That’s the kind that changes everything.